People used to say, “Some things are better left unsaid.” Unsaid. Unspoken. the words that did not come to life. How come they were left on the shelf?
There are some certainties about our feelings that don’t exist in the horizon. Somehow, from their respective graves, they come to haunt us. All the damn time. Burying these notions in the first place is a serious crime to commit yet no punishment shall be bestowed.
It is ridiculous that we tend to escape our own reality and create an alternative world wherein everything is crafted and fabricated the way we want things to be. I guess everyone has got that world behind their backs. Behind the spotlight, everyone is a victim of truth.
Personally, I have some words in the back of my mind that I long to utter. Yet some circumstances would not allow me to. Love is bothering me. Right now. At the moment. On point.
The words I have left on my shelf are starting to knock me off – all of them one by one. So why the hell did I intended to hold them? It’s not a question of courage or sincerity but for some reasons, some lines meet at a point and that point is the point of no return.
I wrote a story about how I fell in a ditch. Each day, I’ve written chapters and as each chapter end, I do fear the feeling that the story will soon come to an end. How ironic it is that I fear rising up after falling. As the words unfold, I start to reconnect the stars in my galaxy and trace them into constellations of my own. At night, I lay back and find myself wandering and wondering about how foolish I was to act upon myself. I admit I do regret the chances I did not play right. Dreams come to life as if they were dust turning into sparks in the gloomy aura of the fading sunlight. I catch myself longing for a love I never had in the first place. My heart is empty but not blind for it sees and seeks what needs to be seen and sought. The growing worry like the raging waves of the sea has calmed down. Everything went back to normal and everything built has fallen.
Short exchanges of text messages on a Sunday morning
The music filled the air and the sparks have gone to play
I feel nothing, not even the same old empty feeling
All I know is I’m ready to take a new path right on this day
The wind says something has faded that only time could describe
Yet I hear a soft whisper from my soul that yearns for your love
I could only live upon the words and promises that once came to life
For all we know, fate has only played upon us; the game is too odd
If only I could turn back the hands of the clock
Or even put back the pages that comprised the calendar
Never in my power would I allow us to end up in this position
Nor would I let go of your hand for your fingers are all tied to mine
Memories sweet as sugar but all I’m left to do is to reminisce
I admit I messed up chances; I fucked up my choices
Lying on this bed, playing sad songs cause it’s you that I miss
Given one chance, I would love you and not compare you any less
These days I can’t weather what’s on your mind
It’s as if you turned into a complete stranger before my eyes
Those visions of you and I suddenly turned into dust
And the love I thought we had was erased and thrown away for a second
We’re face to face yet we have lost that connection
Our eyes meet but they won’t stay in that manner for too long
My mind is filled with notions of your mysterious aura
How I wish I could decode your being so that I can justify
There are a thousand and one stories behind your smile
And I’m trying to figure them out one by one
Honey, you are too classic and you never go out of style
All I see in you is perfection even when you come to me undone
I lost count of the moments that you and I had
Neither have I gauged the seconds that your eyes have met mine
If my eyes are recorders everything they have witnessed
I swear I would have them filled with your every little secret
Loving you at this corner is a struggle to be stuck into
Never had the right words nor the guts to lay them upon you
I’m forever lost in this feeling of insanity over your being
To spend my life with you is all that I am seeing
For without you made me realize that there’s so much out there for my eyes.
Well beyond rain and dark grey skies is a multi-colored life.
I was lost in everything and you were gone across the old field
Time has kept the wounds unhealed but our hearts bled until we found peace
Chance is the only game that I have known how to play with
Truth is the only curse that’s bittersweet just like oldies
There are untold stories of my life, you were there along with the spotlight
Words we said are worth of a lifetime; chasing dreams of you and I, all tied
Trust is the only thing that matters to me in this moment
Love is the only strength I got cause I was dead mistaken